Pee-Pee in the Potty Puddle

My 2 yo has opted to pee on my bathroom floor.

I thought for a brief sec that my toilet was backed up.

I am pissed...literally.

Bits and Pieces

Alot has been going on lately. Had a few deaths. One dramatic birth. And a whole lot of different emotions in between. But in all the confusion we must remain in a state of functionality for our children right?

• Sarah has been going to the potty on a regular basis. She had one accident free day but everyday I have at least 1 accident. But she is enjoying the reward system. I have a reward chart in her room and she puts Dora stickers on the squares each time she goes. So far she has earned a trip to the playground. This time around she is gonna go for ice cream when she gets all her stickers.

• Abi is walking! I am so sad. Happy, yes, but sad. My baby is getting big. She cut her first set of teeth too. All on the verge of her first birthday.

Which brings me to my next point:

• I am so stressed over what to do for her birthday. I feel that I have done it all for Sarah. And I am struggling to "top that". But I am so tired of the preparation that goes into it. And the clean up. I am tired of guests who show up just to eat and get a plate to take home with them, but never pitch in to help with anything, or even compensate with a decent gift. I wanted to do something simple and outsource the prep work but the father wants to keep it at home. I guess so his tribe can come over and get their grub on. Joy!

Also running through my mind:

• How do I keep my kids busy through the summer? Playgroup is done until the fall so my kids are home until it resumes. We have been on 2 vacations since March and I feel as if it is time to take another one so the girls, Sarah in particular, can get loose.

• I hate this weather. It has not been hot, but most days have not been suitable outdoor weather. I took the girls out to watch fireworks the other night and it was so chilly! We haven't even opened out pool! Not good swimming weather at all. We did get a little kiddie pool for the girls to splish splash in on those rare hot days.

• Lastly, I am conflicted as to whether or not I should post pics here. I have tons of pics to share of the girls but I do not like the photo option on these blogs as they often get in the way of the post. I wish there was some way I could have a thumbnail of pics in an album here on the blog. If any of you know if such an option is available please drop me a line.

The Jackson Lesson: One for the History Books

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I have never truly declared myself a Michael Jackson fan. Fan is short for fanatic. I do not consider myself a fanatic. But I can surely appreciate some good music and smooth dance moves. And that is what I take away from MJ. For as long as I can remember in my childhood, he has always been a highly respected musician. I remember the 45's in our record collection...Jackson 5 albums...the christmas album I always played during the season.

Off the wall, then Thriller. The MTV crossover. The fashion, the dance moves...moon walk, crotch grab, pelvic thrust, a zig zagging silhouette who could pull a mean spin.....

It is hard for me to sit here today and remember all this as I type with a heavy heart......

What is even harder for me is to acknowledge that although Michael died physically yesterday he has really been dead for a much longer time than that. He died when he turned into an adult. There was no way one could argue that he transitioned well. He even penned a song that he said was closest to how he felt in his heart.

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for the world that I come from
'Cause I've been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart...
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities...
'Cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me...

People say I'm not okay
'Cause I love such elementary things...
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood
I've never known...

We can argue all day that it was Joe Jackson's fault for thrusting him in the limelight at such a tender age, or we could say that Michael was an adult and should have made decisions based on such, but what no one can deny is that he was truly a revolutionary icon. There is no one in his league. No one. That is why he will be imitated but never truly duplicated.

Now where my girls are concerned, I look at them in their blissful youthful ignorance. They will never truly grasp how big this man is, how brilliant he was. Yes they will appreciate his talent. Much as I have appreciated the talent of those artistes long before my time. But never will they feel the true appreciation that the King of Pop has generated from fanatic followers to passing listeners alike.

The roller coaster life he led also put alot of things in perspective. Fame and fortune cannot replace a happy childhood. You can buy the playground but it still does not compensate for the lack of small childhood joys that come from the most mundane of things. Parents, I charge you to hug your kids. Tell them you love them everyday. Do simple things with them. Run around with them. Color with them. Paint with them. Take them to get ice cream. Make a mess with them. Happy well adjusted kids make happy well adjusted adults. It is our duty as parents to make happy well adjusted little people for the betterment of our society at large.

R.I.P.

Michael Jackson

1958-2009

Little Ears

Little ears do not hear when Mommy says "Come here."

Little ears hear when Mommy says "Oh shoot!"

Little ears do not hear when Mommy says "Don't do that."

Little ears hear when Mommy says "Dang it!"

Little ears do not hear when Mommy says "Don't put that in your mouth."

Little ears hear when Mommy says "Doggone it!"

Little ears do not work when they need to hear.

Little ears only work when Mommy should be silent.

Jon & Kate: I can relate

So yes I have always been a shamefully admitted fan of Jon and Kate plus 8. I have always admired their ability to reign in 8 kids that small. I am here dying with 2. I admired Kate for her remarkable schedule making detail oriented nature. In the same breath I can tell you I am not thrilled with the way she has dealt with Jon over the years, speaking to him as is he were the 9th child.

Anyway, all that aside we witnessed the denigration of yet another family unit, and I highly doubt that the video light is solely to blame.

Jon has been obviously miserable throughout the years in his role as a dad of a multitude. Kate has not made that role any easier for him with her nitpicking everything he does wrong. So he has retreated into the boyish comforts of sports cars, diamond studs, bachelor pads, and much younger girlfriends.

Anyway, I digress. As a mother of 2 young ones I too have been guilty of nitpicking their father for simple things. On his days off when I would go to work I would come home to find the kids dirty, still in the same clothes I left them in, and having eaten sweets and things that they would never have had if I were there. I would yell at him but over time I have learnt to let go and let him parent. He is doing the best he knows how. Things that I would do one way he will do his way because to him it makes more sense. I subscribe to the theory that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

It is useless to continue arguing over viewpoints that both of us will never agree on. Otherwise I would find everything we disagree on and create fights, and most likely end up on divorce court. Now, so long as the kids are fed and their diapers changed that is all I am concerned with. And he does a really good job with that so I can't complain. Whenever he is home he does morning duty with the girls..diaper changes and bottles...I am really happy that I can sleep in.

Now if anyone has any tips on how to subtly get him to do the girls' laundry or to give the girls a bath...not just when the younger one takes a giant dump and messes up her clothes....then I am all ears.

So what can we learn from Jon and Kate about ourselves? Don't sweat the small stuff and learn to let things go....

Potty Regression

Found an excellent article on potty regression!

Regression by Potty Training Solutions

Teaching your child to use the toilet takes time, understanding, and patience. The important thing to remember is that you cannot rush your child into using the toilet. Each child is different. What works for one may not be successful for another. That is why you need an arsenal of tools and tricks to get your youngster interested and keep him or her with the program until you have achieved that goal of independence. Stress in the home may make learning this important new skill more difficult. Sometimes it is a good idea to delay toilet training in the following situations: Your family has just moved or will move in the near future. You are expecting a baby or you have recently had a new baby. There is a major illness, a recent death, or some other family crisis. However, if your child is learning how to use the toilet without problems, there is no need to stop because of these situations. AVOID NEGATIVE REACTIONS Handle accidents in a quiet, matter-of-fact way during cleanup. I am not a supporter of any form of punishment for toilet training issues. With strong willed children, if you want to have a behavior go away, don't reinforce it. Yelling or punishing is reinforcement. Even though it's negative, they get attention anyway. Sometimes that is what they are looking for. If this is true, parents need to try and figure out what it is that they are needing this attention for. If a child constantly is being told he is bad or "not good," he will many times live up to that. LEARN TO DISCIPLINE I do believe in discipline. Don’t confuse discipline with spanking. Discipline is when the parent does what they plan and to, they follow-through and remain consistent in encouraging desired behaviors. Parents and children do better when they have a routine, especially during setbacks. Get back into your training routine, stay positive, reintroduce motivations like rewards and keep lines of communication open. DISCUSS RESPONSIBILITY AND CONSEQUENCES Discontinuing Toileting is not easy for you, and you may want your child to know what his consequences are. Again, be clear and matter-of-fact; minimize words during cleanup. If you let this become emotionally charged that is where the focus will be, and that is ineffective and negative. Let’s say your child just didn’t make it to the toilet because Barney was on. Then shut off Barney until the child has assisted in clean-up (most children can at least dump poop in toilet, flush and wash out underwear). Then have him go to the toilet and at least try to go (even if they say they don’t have anything left). Make it clear after an accident this is their responsibility. You remain quiet and calm, minimizing talk to simple instructions. Before letting the child resume his activity, have a short, upbeat and supportive talk with him about what just happened and what the consequences will be if it happens again. “OK, just an accident. We had to shut off Barney and clean up. When you have an accident you must go to the toilet anyway. Next time you will use the toilet, won’t you?” After you get him to agree, don’t forget to say “I love you!” LEARN WHY HE HAS STOPPED TOILETING, IF POSSIBLE It is easier for a child to learn the mechanics of Toileting, but not so easy for him to accept some of the emotional issues that may come along later. And not all children are capable or willing to discuss it. If the child wishes to talk, be there for him. It may help you decide how to proceed if the accidents continue. If he adamantly does not want to talk, respect his feelings. Common toilet fears include fear of seeing his poop go down the toilet (and losing that part of him), fear of getting hands dirty when wiping, fear of seeing or hearing a toilet flush, fear of painful bowel movement. Other reasons may include lack of desire to stop playing to go, loss of the excitement of this new ‘game’, associating toileting with ‘growing up’ and deciding it is more comfortable to just stay little. There are some cases where children use toilet issues to express anger and aggression. For this, seek professional help. DECIDE HOW TO PROCEED After you have come to realize these accidents are not stopping, and after you have given the child a chance to work through it himself, you have been calm, supportive and allowed him to talk about the situation if he wishes, you should have enough information to decide what is best for your situation. Even when a child chooses not to talk, you can assess through his nonverbal cues how serious this toileting thing is to him. You have choices. You must decide how much you are willing to do to work this out with your child. Do not allow a significant other, mother-in-law or neighbor (however well-intentioned) to interfere with your parenting choices. Pick your battles, and realize this one in particular can be a tough one. If you decide to go for retraining you need to be prepared to follow through in a positive way. Read up, get support. If you decide this is not the best time to try to work through it, that is OK. You and your child should decide together how to handle accidents. Whatever you decide, this is just one of many parenting decisions we must make with no clear-cut answer. It will work out no matter how you proceed, as long as you have the child’s best interests in mind. DECIDING TO STAY THE COURSE Some children really want to continue toileting. Sometimes the parent is willing to do whatever it takes to keep the child with his toileting routine. If you decide it is best to try to keep your child on track, then gear up for retraining in a positive, loving and supportive way. Prepare yourself for what can become a long, frustrating time. Your attitude is important - keep it fun and upbeat if you can. Never blame the child. Even the most even- tempered, devoted and selfless of parents have found their limits tested. Frustrations can be minimized by planning to spend extra time with your child (preferably at home) observing when and why the accidents occur. Expect to deal with accidents and try to find a way to avert them. Could your child simply miss all that attention he used to get for toileting successes? If you find yourself becoming too frustrated with the situation to cope in a positive, loving and supportive way, consult your pediatrician, read and take parenting classes. PHYSICAL PROBLEMS Consider the possibility of physical problems. Some children may have developed a urinary tract infection (sometimes due to bubble bath) causing pain during urination. Some children may have a blockage of small penile opening in boys. Some children have a very small bladder, or dietary problems causing discomfort. Be sure to see your doctor if you suspect any possibility of physical reasons for regression. If your child is rebelling, (having a deliberate, emotionally-charged toilet strike, or ‘acting out’ by using his mess to purposely anger you), seek professional help. These may not be toileting issues at all. HAVE FUN! As you know, your child is growing rapidly before your very eyes. Focus on enjoying this age and stage with your child. If you can keep a good attitude through all the trials, you will have given your child much more than basic toilet skills. Your child will learn he or she can trust you. They will know that they are important. They will learn how to communicate better. He will understand how you can help him when he is troubled. He will learn you will always love him, even when he messes up. That is what is really important. PUNISHMENTS It is not recommended that you use negative reinforcements (i.e., verbal reprimands, punishments or spankings) when the child has an accident or wets the bed. Positive reinforcement as simple as a hug, sticker or praise for successful potty event is much more effective. Your Pediatrician Can Help With Potty Training. If any concerns come up before, during, or after toilet training, talk with your pediatrician. Often the problem or problems are minor and can be resolved quickly, but sometimes physical or emotional causes will require treatment. Your pediatrician's help, advice, and encouragement can help make toilet training easier. Also, your pediatrician is trained to identify and manage problems that are more serious. Confirm Potty Training Information With Other Sources and Your Doctor. You are encouraged to talk with your doctor with regard to information contained on or through this Web site. After reading articles or other Content from Potty Training Solutions, you are encouraged to review the information with your professional healthcare provider. Potty Training Solutions is committed to the Physical, Mental and Social Health for All Children. We provide education of the highest standard to individuals and organizations seeking to keep pace with advancements in technology. The information contained in this publication should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances. DO NOT USE THIS WEBSITE AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROPER MEDICAL CARE OR FOR MEDICAL EMERGENCIES.

This article was published on Thursday 29 November, 2007. http://pottytrainingsolutions.com/article_info.php?articles_id=8

Mommy happy?

That was the question my two year old asked me as I wiped spilt Gogurt off my side table with a damp cloth.

"Yes baby," I replied.

I was happy. For one I could not help but fall in love with her when she asked me cute questions like that. It had been a good day. the sun was shining brilliantly..something we have not seen in weeks...and I took the girls outside.

Sarah rode her trike and and Abi and I sat on the lawn watching her. Meanwhile Abi made use of her walk behind walker and seems to be getting confident with each step. They played with a beach ball until Sarah told me:

"I tired Mommy. Want to sleep."

So inside we went and she even took a nap on her own.

Now if only each day was as nice and I had time to sit outside and watch them play.

Today we are back to the crappy weather and now I am trying to find different things to keepher stimulated. I introduced her to water paint for this first time and she got a kick out of it. Someone suggested letting her play in the rain but I am not too fond of the idea. We'll see.

Regarding the potty plight, she has gotten back on track somewhat. Yesterday was acccident free but today we had one accident so far. Still doing the reward system and it works fairly well. I know each day is not perfect but all we can do is take it one day at a time.