Over-Priviledged????

So it's Christmas time again and a group of my friends began discussing their kids' wishlists. I was amazed! Kids want Xboxes, Ipods, digital cameras, cellphones, and designer clothes. What have we done? Have we created greedy little monsters who expect to get these high end items just because???

It all begins with this saying: I want my kids to have a better life than I did. Granted, most of us did not live hard lives and were pretty well off compared to our parents and grandparents. However, we oblige ourselves to give our kids the best of everything. The best toys, the best clothes, the best games, the best schools. And what do we oblige our kids to give us in return?

It sounds selfish, but we must look at the fact that one day we are going to be older. Most likely we will not be able to take care of ourselves. Our spouses may die before us, our vice versa. Most of all, we will not have the same income as we did in our younger days. Sadly, we become children again, and most likely, if we have done our jobs as parents right, our children will become our parents, as they will have to make decisions for us.

Now, we have to gear our kids up for that sort of responsibility. No we cannot raise them with the mantra that one day they will take care of us, but we ought to give them a greater sense of the world: that it does not revolve around them. As parents, it is our duty to raise our kids to become productive members of society. When we shower them with gifts "just because" it gives them a false sense of entitlement. What happens when they grow up? Do they get money "just because"? Get a house "just because"?

We need to teach our kids to be givers. Showing kindness to others has its rewards. Also it is useful to have them learn the value of working and saving to get what they want. I mentioned to my friends today that I had to wait three years after moving into my home to get my dream kitchen, yet my girls only had to be born to get theirs. LOL! So the dilemma continues.

Multi-Mom

Hats off to all the moms who work fulltime, have recreational activities outside the home, and spend mucho quality time with the kids. As a stay at home mom I wear many hats. Chef, laundress, maid, chauffeur, accountant, secretary, nurse, among many other roles. I am about to add another hat. I am planning to further my education, something I have wanted to do but in between getting married, having kids, buying a home I have been busy since I became a college graduate. I am worried that I may not be able to successfully balance all these roles once I begin this very intensive study program but I know that once I surround myself with people who want to see me succeed I will get all the help I need.

Custody agreement...~with the relatives~

Well it's busy season in the family. The time of year when we see each other more than any other time during the year. After much back and forth we have finally solidified the arrangements.

Halloween will be spent at home with me and my family visiting from NY. We will trick and treat together and then join my outlaws at a house party.

Thanksgiving will be split between cousins in New York.

Christmas will be spent at home for breakfast and then dinner will be between my cousin's house and the outlaws.

The day after Christmas, the girls are flying down with their dad, his sister, niece, and mother. I have opted to remain at home because I need to study.

New Year's Eve will be spent at my sister in law's house.

It took alot of deliberation as we have so many relatives and so as not to offend anyone we have to split our time evenly, a task I find to be tedious.

Battling colds, tantrums, and depression

So far my girls have had three colds for the season. I have been getting used to the routine. First sniffle brings out the humidifier. Big runny noses bring out the automatic suction...a must have for any parent with a kid who cannot blow their own noses. And aside from appropriate doses of noodle soup and medicine, lot's of TLC in between. Fortunately the girls have wonderful immune systems and after a couple days are good to go. The baby is especially resistant. I feel this is because she was breast fed. Never mind the fact that I do not need to vacuum because she is always picking up the tiniest atom and putting it in her mouth. A battle a choose to wage war against at whim as it is never ending.

Sarah on the other hand is becoming more and more willful. She has the nastiest tantrums whenever she does not get her way. I have to find creative ways of redirecting her and distracting her. Also the visits to the naughty wall are met with much resistance. The key for me is to keep her busy so that she does not find time to commit punishable offenses. She goes to playgroup as often as I can take her, visits with her cousins at least once a week, and I purchased a plethora of preschool activities to keep her busy for hours. She especially enjoys coloring and painting. I especially abhor the mess!

During all this I have found it necessary for me to go back on antidepressants. This is the part of being a stay at home mom that not many people tell you about. I am so busy from 7am to 9pm caring for these kids that I have no time for myself. Most days I feel drained and run down. Their dad works away from home and is hardly here to share his burden of the work. When he is here I do get some relief but the fine tuned parenting is always left up to me. Dauntingly simple tasks such as picking outfits that MATCH...or combing their hair or clipping nails is always left up to me. Not to mention the never ending laundry being put away in the right places. Anyway I was getting to a point where I was shutting down and decided that I needed more help and also that I needed to be on the meds. I think I get depressed more during the fall and winter. I am an island gal and I need lots of sunlight. We usually take a trip down south during the winter so I am looking forward to that.

Until then I can only do what I am doing now and that is loving myself as much as I love my family.

Back to (Play) School

My daughters attend a playgroup at the elementary school in a neighboring town. It is only available during the school year. During the holidays us moms are left to fend for ourselves. I must say that it became quite a challenge with my 2 yo. She was very hard to entertain and as a result of boredom, often got into trouble.

Now that she is back on schedule, she is much easier to tolerate, easy to entertain, and noticeably happy. This morning she woke up asking if we were going to school but today is an off day.

Her younger sister has no problems with playgroup. Turns out she is just a go with the flow kind of gal. At school she gets right into playing and mingling. A very confident and independent young lady. So funny because as a young baby she would not let anyone other than myself keep her. Part of the reason why I decided to stay at home with them. Sarah on the other hand is a bit shy and reserved at first, but once acclimated she gets down to playing, mostly by herself. (Parallel play).

I can't wait for them to begin full day school. School is a haven for both parents and kids alike.

Exiting Summer. Entering Fall.

I hate changing seasons. Well, it is easier for me to transition from winter to spring. In fact, I enjoy i, knowing that we have months of warmth to look forward to makes me tolerate the chill in the air. Not so with Fall. I hate going from warm to cold. It is the first cold draft that is the worst. As you go on and the temperatures dip lower it becomes easier to bear as you have had some time to become accustomed to it. But this first sudden drop sneaks up on you so fast.

It was a mostly uneventful summer for us. That is good I guess. Too much excitement is not good for one's health. Says I. Anyhow, after today it will be unofficially Fall. The kids go back to school. Parents get a break from those "I am so bored" complaints. And the flu season begins.

I get sick twice a year. Once in the fall and another time in the spring. As a mom I struggle with keeping my girls safe from injuries and illness. I can only do so much before one of them will eat something off the floor.

Currently we all have our first taste of a seasonal cold. Not as devastating as the ones in the spring but annoying enough. It is bad enough that we can no longer give children under 6 cold medicine. (I still give it to my 2 yo. Shhh! Don't tell anyone!) :-) I give Tylenol to both as needed. But I am trying to go back to the natural remedies that our mothers, grandmothers, and their grandmothers used to give kids.

So far I am experimenting with the garlic and honey tea. My older child refuses to drink it but the younger one will drink it with no hesitation. We will see how if it helps or not soon enough. I give them a warm bath in eucalyptus oil and it seems to help relax them. I notice the night cough is gone when I do that. I also rub them down with it and that helps as well.

The important thing is to keep them warm and cozy and try to make them as comfortable as possible. That brings up another point that I hate about transitioning into fall. Any season as a matter of fact. I have to have two different seasonal clothing in the closets as the days may start off cool, then get warm, then get cold at night. It is really annoying when you have limited closet space and have to be combing through the clothes to get rid of the sleeveless shirts and shorts, but keep the short sleeve shirts and throw in a few long sleeves, pants, and jackets.

Now that our outdoor time will be severely limited I am already plannign ahead to see what activities i can get them involved in during the approaching winter. I know what it is like when the kids get cabin fever, but Mommy does not do cold weather. Which brings me to my last point.

I am one of the many people who require lots of sunshine and warm weather in order to function. It is a condition known as SAD...Seasonal Affective Disorder. Most commonly known as the winter blues. I have planned a trip to Jamaica for a couple weeks during the winter, but unfortunately that will not compensate for a half year of undesireable weather. It is hard to be cheery around the kids and I often lack the desire to do anything outside of my bed.

As with anything else, we just have to take things one step at a time. Expect the best, prepare for tthe worst, and be thankful for the in-between.

Party Pro

Or so I have been told. My in-laws tend to rely on me when it comes to party planning. I have been a mom for 2 years and 4 months now. In that time I have thrown : 2 christening parties, 5 birthday parties, and countless holiday dinners and cookouts in between. I love to entertain. Granted I always get stressed and have major meltdowns during the prep, but they always turn out good!